the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So. Much. Porn.
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