Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
