we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
