im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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