After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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