I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
