i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
