peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
