Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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