So drunk, too bad you don't want this
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
