Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
