Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
