Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
