just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm way too hungover for life right now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
