Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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