they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
