Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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