Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
