I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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