You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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