everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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