Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
