i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
