God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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