He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
