So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
