trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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