when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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