What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
