She's JV to your varsity
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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