"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize