My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
