4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
