Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
