yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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