sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
