I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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