FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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