they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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