Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
