the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
