Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
