why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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