I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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