I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
