Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
