Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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