new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
