my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
