If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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