i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
