why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
