Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
