Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
