you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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