It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize