tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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