I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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