Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
