i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
