return my video game
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
