Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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