Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
