someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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