you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
