my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
