Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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