ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
