O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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